Please Excuse The Mess
Yesterday Darren had one of his routine panic attacks because he couldn’t find our keys. I’m no angel when it comes to the area of cleanliness, nor do I claim to be. I’m guilty of being messy and I openly admit to leaving stuff laying about. But if Darren loses something it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack!
I am embarrassed to admit to this but we are both terrible hoarders. Not the kind that is in need of a reality tv show intervention….not yet anyway. I have managed to accumulate all of my junk into one small room whereas Darren has managed to spread his stuff around in several different locations.
This is what I have to navigate through and wake up to each day. Isn’t it lovely? This is Darren’s “wardrobe”. About 7 or 8 laundry baskets containing his clothing and other assorted bits and pieces. I have offered him space in wardrobes which he will not take because “he likes to have easy access to everything”.
The Plan With The Van
He recently purchased another van that is pretty much identical to the one he already owns but may or may not be a few months newer. He has claimed that he will be selling the old van and that this “newer” one will replace it, I have a diiferent take on what the puprose of this van actually is.
He recently attempted to drive it to Melbourne and got as far as Tailem Bend which is approximately a 75 minute drive out of Adelaide. He then broke down and had to have it towed back which cost him more than the van was worth and then he STILL paid for the thing to be fixed! The only reasoning that I have for this logic is that the van will be…..extra storage!
On The Hunt For Missing Keys
And it was the keys to this van that we were on the hunt for a few days ago. Darren suffers from severe anxiety so when something goes missing there is literally NO STOPPING the search until the missing item is found. If we were to stop there would be a great deal of heavy breathing and an argument would almost always be the result.
I learned early on in our relationship that the best way to handle these situations when they arose is to dive in and look with him. It would just help to avoid a nasty argument if he saw that I was trying to help him then he was happy. How wrong I was.
Nagging To Be Nice
You see having all of this junk around when you’re looking for something has gotten kinda frustrating. And it never seems to matter how much I attempt to gently guide him into getting rid of this stuff.I’d get accused of being a NAG! Like in the mornings when he is running late for work and he can’t find a pair of bloody socks, would it really have hurt him to organised his clothing the night before? It drives me round the bend. But if I say ANYTHING then I’m nagging.
The last 6 months or so I decided to give a new strategy a try. After all it was not my fautl that he has gotten himself into this mess. I made a decision to stop asking him to clear stuff up because I’m obviously not being listened to. What’s the point of trying to help someone who clearly doesn’t want your help?
The Big Sigh
So on this occasion I watch as Darren madly looks for a set of keys that I know for a fact he probably only had in his hands less than a few hours earlier. He is doing the occasional “big sigh” thing which I have by now managed to translate into “why aren’t you looking with me”? But I’m sticking to my guns nd asserting myself this time and I’m not gonna give in!
The thing is I know in my head that I will find them if I do get up. I saw him with them not that long ago. But am I really helping him by doing this? I have come to understand that when he panics he overlooks things and what he is looking for could be staring him in the face and he still wouldn’t see i
And what is particularly maddening is that he will make the most annoying jokes during these little episodes about “women being good for one thing” and “I’m having a man’s look not a woman’s look” that although he thinks is funny i am really not amused by at all. I have told him this repeatedly and while everyone keeps assuring me that it’s just “Darren being Darren” it still irritates the hell out of me hearing him say stuff like that!
Time To Have A “Woman’s Look”
Eventually I tire of watching and hearing him do the “sigh” thing a zillion times and get up to look. I think logically and remember that he had put my car away the night before so he is likely to have left them inside on the hook or laying in one of the many storage units and/or vans he has in the yard. And I find them on the passenger seat of my car.
I casually walk back to the van and dangle the keys in his face and tell him I had a “Rachael’s look”. He was of course full of remorse and apologies but then he said something that has never come out of his mouth before. I’ll admit this was after several beverages but this is what I quickly managed to get recorded for prosperity…..
You’re Welcome Ladies
So there you have it girls…sorry about the quality of the video but it was all i could get in the short space of time. I had to do it very quickly before he started talking nonsense again hehehe. It’s what we have known all along but have never been able to get one of them to put out into the universe.
You’re welcome 🙂